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The Singer Page 16

was successful, and with his will to live restored, he slowly began to recover. He had relapses from time to time but, being naturally greedy, gradually began to look less like a frightened shoe gazer and more like the lifeguard he’d once been; although it took him a long time to get used to his reflection. As for the girl he thought he could love—well, it didn’t really work out with her. But with the next girl, it did. By that time he’d moved back to Pembrokeshire and they opened a surf shop together, the best one in town. But old habits die hard, and he was still unfaithful. I began to realise that maybe the reason he’d wanted that section of his heart removed in the first place was not, as I’d thought, to prevent it from being broken, but rather so that he didn’t have to feel guilty about the people’s hearts he broke.

  As for the twins, well—I never saw them again after that fateful night at the Royal Albert Hall. There are two different accounts of what happened to them after that, and I suppose it’s up to you to decide which is the true one.

  Either way, they ran off with all the instruments. Which they were entitled to, I suppose. They were in charge of the musical side of things and we always gave them an allowance to buy the equipment, then just left them to it.

  The first rumour seems to imply that they sold it all to get filthy rich. They then squandered all the money on drugs and ended up back where we’d found them: on the street, freezing and half-starved, clinging together for warmth underneath a bridge.

  It would be nice if the second story was the true one. In this version, Richard and Bazooka went on to become successful song producers for a wide array of bands, offering their musical services to the Lost Boys, Sleeping With Anemones, NSOH and The Teddy Boys’ picnic. Stamping their name, Lovers and Fighters, like a barcode into the introduction of each song they produced, they managed to use their creative skills to great success, becoming the famous musicians they’d already planned to be the day they came to audition for us.

  As for Grace—well, I never heard from her again.

  Information: Diesel Culture

  During the 20th century, internal combustion diesel engines rapidly took over from steam, resulting in a boom in industry and personal vehicle ownership. Most transport and household devices are now diesel-fuelled, and diesel is liquid gold. By 2010, fuel supplies are almost depleted and the affluent society is in denial, trembling on the brink of its own hedonistic downfall. As a result, the cultural atmosphere of the time has become faster, more decadent, more desperate, more frantic to make the most of the situation while it is still possible, because sooner or later everyone knows in their heart of hearts that the whole lot will come crashing down.

  Grace

  I can’t say I ever really got over him, but once I’d had my revenge, the burning anger was replaced by smouldering resentment and, eventually, a kind of numb indifference. I moved on, after a while, with Pete from the Lost Boys, then Capricorn, then Peregrine Falcon Smith—but none of them have lasted very long. Needless to say, I’m the talk of every tabloid column, especially those by Vanessa Jones. I’m actually quite good friends with her now. And maybe I’m getting to like the attention, the fame, of a sort, associated with these high-profile boys. Still, I can never be sure whether my attraction to them is real, or whether I just make it up to keep me going. Maybe I’m just trying to find someone as wonderful as I fooled myself Alex was. One thing’s for sure, I’m going to keep making the same mistakes again and again until one of them turns out right.

  Cinderford Herald 13/12/10

  A NEW NATURAL FORCE - CAN LIGHTNING BE HARNESSED?

  Earlier this week scientists in India discovered a way to capture the power of lightning through a metal wire “conductor”. According to the National Energy Lab, Mumbai, this natural force has always existed, but can also be generated artificially by passing a magnet close to metal wire.

  Dr John Doe contests the novelty of this breakthrough, claiming to have already discovered that the energy running through nerves, causing muscles to contract, is the very same force found in both lightning and friction sparks. However, as none of this work was published prior to the discoveries of the National Energy Lab, the recognition must fall on Mumbai for this intriguing finding.

  “Vitality”, as this substance has been dubbed, is also alleged to float through metal like water and leap from one object to the next in the form of sparks. All of this sounds a little far-fetched, and further research needs to be undertaken before these extraordinary claims can be confirmed. However, if it is to be believed, “Vitality” looks set to be an amusing novelty that will provide entertaining children’s toys for years to come.

  —James Vickers, science correspondent